Home Stretch

Hair and makeup trial was yesterday.  I just decided to be open to whatever the makeup decided to do--after our initial discussion about preferences (YS said no heavy eye makeup; fine, but I was concerned my eyes would disappear in photos).  She asked about false eyelashes.  I said I'd never worn them before but was open to anything.  At first they felt weird when she applied them, but after a while I got used to them and they were cool.  My usual hairstylist who always just knows what to do, did her thing.  I felt and looked awesome.  Got a lot of compliments when I cantored Mass that afternoon (of course I test-drove it!).  So I can't wait for the big day to look like that all over again.

I know I didn't get the chance to write part II about the PA-side bridal shower, but to sum up: Everyone had a nice time (everyone who was there), our niece was a helper with wrapping paper trash and my consultant for making the "ribbon hat"--which YS conveniently "forgot" at our parents' house when she headed back home.  But the Cinderall tiara went home with her, I noticed.

After the shower, we packed up and regrouped at our parents' house before going out dress shopping.  (Yes, it was a marathon of a day.)  I got changed into even less comfortable underwear but frankly was happy to change any part of my clothing because it had been awfully hot both outside and in the room where the shower was held.

We made the rounds of the department stores at the huge mall a couple towns over and tried on scads of blue dresses--satiny, sparkly, long, short.  It began to be apparent that the short dresses looked good on me. . . and indecent on the other, 5' 11" bridesmaid.  There were a couple of "okay" ones but they weren't ringing the bride's bell.

Finally, as we walked out of the one dressing room and past the racks, YS stopped.  "This is what I wanted in tne first place," she said, pointing to a dress.  It was nothing like what she'd said from the beginning, at least to me--I'd seen/heard gray, blush, beige.  (Everything that would wash me out, she wanted.)  So I asked if she wanted me to try it on.  She said, "Would you?"

Come on.  How could I not?

When I opened the dressing room door, her face softened and she said, "I like it."

And then the other bridesmaid tried it on.  Good. SOLD.

Of course, there was a problem finding two of the same size--that's right, at that point I was wearing pretty much the same size as a woman a foot taller than me.  It was mortifying but I just had to deal with it and try to get better.  The other bridesmaid wound up taking the dress that was a size smaller--that's all we could find, considering it was a last-season dress (good price! bad selection!) and I could tell she wasn't thrilled mostly because length was an issue.  The following day, they scoured Lord & Taylors close to them and found the dress actually one size larger.  She said it was loose on top but she was just happy to have the longer length.

Here it is:
 

Definitely NOT blue.

We tried both of the dresses on that night at our parents' house, and there were sequins all over the floor.  So we might be looking kinda nekkid by the time we finish on the dance floor, but oh well. 
And I have been terrified of taking it to get altered since. Why? Well, I've been dealing with a weight issue and a height issue--I mean, seriously, how are they going to shorten this dress without changing the sequin pattern on the skirt significantly--and I honestly felt so self-conscious about how bare it is to start with.

YS said we're getting spray tans so we don't have that really bare look--which reminds me, there's no way I'm getting spray-tanned the day before the wedding.  Way too close for any color adjustments.  Can't wait to have that conversation.  She's been promising a timeline this weekend but I know she's been cleaning the house and yard like a crazy person in anticipation of the arrival of the future in-laws.  So I guess all conversation is on hold until whenever she gets to it.

In the meantime, the dress is going to the tailor on Wednesday.  I tried it on last week and it is too big on top (surprise, not designed for petite women) and too big in the hips.  But it fits just about exactly in the waist and zips, so, hooray.  I've been working as hard as I can with healthy eating and exercise, but I still hadn't tried on the dress in a month and a half, I was that scared.

And then there's the matter of a good 5" of fabric, pooled on the floor, in spite of the 3" heels on my feet.  I hope this tailor can get it done in time--and more importantly, done right.  I was referred by a bridal shop.  Around here, they won't alter a dress you didn't buy from them, for liability reasons.  So I don't know this person but she used to work for them and left to start her own business.  I talked to her on the phone--heavy accent did not make it easy--but she was nice and I figure since her name is Teresa it's a little gift from St. Therese whose novena I prayed not too long ago.

 It just might take a miracle to get it fixed up right in time.

A Good Time Was Had by All, Part I

(All those who showed up, anyway. But more about that later.)

One down, one to go, and then the wedding.  I think I would call the "PA Bridal Shower" a success, overall.

The Prep

I wish I had some photos of the room before everyone entered, but Mom was in charge of photos and unfortunately got stuck at the house waiting for YS and Other Bridesmaid to arrive.  They were caught in some sticky traffic on I-95.  (Which is why I was fretting when YS emailed to say they were coming up the morning of instead of the night before, but what am I going to do, argue with the bride?)  But with the help of our parents and our cousin's (cute pregnant) wife who offered to come early to help, the room looked lovely.

--The room already was decorated with rose-colored walls, and on top of the white linen tablecloths they'd put pink napkins. . . I'd say our unofficial theme was pink and black so that was nice.  Mom and Dad went to a produce place that sold roses in bulk and placed them in some dollar-store glass vases with baby's breath, so each table had at least one vase of pretty pink and white roses.

We also had discussed having some "baby pictures," but hanging things on the walls was prohibited.  The next best thing: framed copies of photos on the tables.  Mom picked a couple recent ones of YS (solo and with YSF) as well as one at age 3 and her 8th grade cheerleading photo.  The only one YS complained about was a Christmas one where her hair looked "choppy."  (Yeah, we didn't see it that way.)  I had leftover "PRINCESS" stickers from the invitations, so I stuck one on each corner. . . the corner that seemed to be coming apart. (They were dollar store frames, after all and in fact one or two had broken at home. Mom was smart and had bought extras.)

There were also some cute/hilarious balloons.

 

The diamond ring one says, "I do (woo hoo!)"

Those were fun stuffing in the car, taking from car to apartment (it was already 88 degress out), loading back in the car and driving with. Not.  

Was I anxious? Yes.  But at least the cake and balloons got there safely, I had help, and there was friendly staff including my pilates teacher who works at the country club part-time.

I was also a little irritated because in between traffic status texts from YS, I was getting texts from Older Brother stating that our niece was "having a teenager moment" (she's 11! She doesn't get to have "teenager moments" so be a real parent!) but honestly I could not blame the kid.

Her mother decided at the last minute she wasn't going.

Yes, our SIL had our brother call YS (not me, the hostess) the night before to explain she was "too stressed" over her father (had a heart attack weeks ago while they were on vacation) and the home business.  Really, the home business takes up your attention over this?

Who threw her bridal shower? Oh, that's right--my mom, my sister, and I did.

Funny, she wasn't too stressed to be out celebrating her bestie's birthday the week before (evidence: tagged in facebook photos).  

When you're a parent to five kids and you're over 30, you don't have any right or excuse to be this rude and immature. 

I hurt for my sister.  I know she took it graciously, but still she should not have had to.  And I'm hurt.  Because I get the message that doing anything for her husband's family is just too burdensome.  And I know she'll show up at the wedding because her college buddies will be there.  We just do not rate in her eyes.

And we had to spend the party explaining why Niece was there (yes, she relented and our bro dropped her off once he knew I'd give her a ride home) and our SIL wasn't.


Up next: Part II, The Party

I Know "RSVP" Is in French, but I'm Pretty Sure Everyone Understands It

Like, even my cousin's wife and my uncle's fiancee' who both speak English as a second language--and the first one ain't French--responded as to whether or not they could come.

I even got an email from my cousin who hasn't spoken to most of my family (myself included) in something like 10 years.*


But my SIL, who went on family vacation well after I mailed the invitations, didn't respond.  Not even to my follow-up text.  (But hey, no "Sorry you had to bury your grandfather this week" message either, so. . .)

I finally texted my brother to beg him to ask her for a response, but I'm not expecting a timely response there, either.  Even though I'm pretty sure they're all on the same family vacation (my bro came back for a day for the funeral).

She's not the only one who hasn't responded.


By the official RSVP date of today, I have the count as follows: 


YES = 18 (c0unting myself and the bride)

NO = 10

NO IDEA = 6


Phoning some people tomorrow.  Grrrrr.



*No, of course that cousin isn't coming to the shower. Everyone has a family vacation planned for that weekend, I swear.  That said, she mentioned coming to the wedding.  Extremely grateful that I have nothing to do with the seating chart for the reception.

  

It's Bridal, It's Brunch-y, It's Something I'm Hosting

Two Fridays ago, Mom and I went to the little country club that hosts many of our church groups' activities--and wedding receptions, actually--and met with the assistant manager.  It turns out her family also belongs to our church and she was a year ahead of our older brother in grade school.  I asked her if she played basketball because that was the only photo of her I remember seeing her in, back when we had yearbooks. (Turns out she also did volleyball and some other sports. Wow.)

Side ramble: Yearbooks went away after a certain point, probably for monetary reasons--or that no one wanted to put one together. Or that, like in this instance which is why I remember it, many people made rude comments about that photo.  She was tall and had muscle--read: not "skinny"--and was on the floor in a split in front of the rest of the team.  I mean, helloooo, notice she can do a freaking split, not that you think she's got "big legs."  Jerks.  Can you tell I hated most of the kids in that school? Somehow I ended up dating one of the only nice ones who is still nice, 20+ years later.  Lucky me.) 

Anyway, here are the details we decided so far.

Room: We're not getting a huge one, as the most we expect to have at the shower would be around 30 women.  But the room has pretty rose-colored walls withiwindows overlooking the club grounds (without, like, golfers wandering and shouting because I think they're farther away or on the other side or something).  We're thinking probably five tables of six chairs at each.  And hey, if we want, we can ask for colored linens. . . but I'm not really into a "let's tie the theme to the wedding's theme" sort of thing, so I opted to keep them white.

Food: Mom and I reviewed the menus and we chose the Brunch Buffet.  Our party starts at noon so why not?  Of course, the first thing I think of when I hear "brunch" is the explanation of it by Marge Simpson's bowling instructor.  (If that didn't make you laugh, you might not be a brunch fan.)  So basically you can get bacon/eggs/fruit/muffins/bagels or you could opt for (also have if you're super hungry) salad/chicken/pasta/veggies.
I was undecided about the cake at the time, and I'm glad I waited to confer with YS, because it turns out she has chosen to remain gluten-free after following doctor's orders for a few months.  (So look forward to a post about my bakery adventures in the near future.)  I'm not getting a huge cake because SO MUCH FOOD ALREADY, but still, who doesn't like the tradition of "Best Wishes" written in icing on a cake?
And finally, because it IS brunch after all, there will be mimosas. In a punch bowl. Yum.

Decorations: As I said, there's not really an official theme. . . but that said, not only am I keeping in mind the whole "American-British union" thing, but I found some fun invitations at the party store and it just clicked with me.  Well, my sister likes shoes a lot, her fiance' is British so he might be royalty (aka "Prince Charming"), and there is absolutely nothing on the invitation that says "birthday"--only "Arrive in Style" above where you write in the details.  And I wrote "Bridal Shower Brunch" over that lettering so the event was clear.

The front says "A Royal Invitation"!

Which is what I had to do, many times over.  And address the envelopes, and print out directions on fancy paper to fold and stuff in them.  I'm not used to all that writing so it surprised me to discover it took me nearly all my spare time over one weekend.

Two things I will not do, as I feel etiquette has spoken strongly about them: Use preprinted labels for guests' addresses (I have silver foil return address labels for me but that's in the interest of space), and include registry information.  The former I won't do because it's impersonal, and the latter is something best left to the guest to decide if she would prefer to choose a gift on her own, or if she wants to use the registry she can ask me when she calls me with her response to the invitation.  No big deal.  But I wouldn't want to make people think they have to buy according to the registry, because that's not right.

(That said, I snapped up all the white bath towels on the registry and am going to attempt a towel cake.  Don't know what possessed me as I am not super-crafty. I figured I could decorate it with princess-y things and paper or silk flowers or sparkles or something.)

I was a little worried how the invitations would be received, but so far I have gotten positive responses.  Yay! (Nothing from YS, however, in spite of the extra glitter stickers on hers.  Hmmm. But she's not one to gush.)

The last decision I made is that we will not be doing games.  I asked my mom if maybe she could copy and print out some cute photos of YS from years back and we'll do something with those--I know we can't hang anything on the walls but maybe something at the tables.  I was thinking of stenciling something on flowerpots to hold flowers for centerpieces, but maybe Mom and I will just cruise the local craft store to get some inspiration.
 
Within reason, of course.  We're not really "country club people" and this setting is more to make it easier to host and for guests' comfort and convenience.   Sometimes showers are just overboard with DJs and huge meals and hundreds of people.  That just seems for show, and it's just too overwhelming.  This is more of a "just us girls" sort of gathering (as I like to think those Disney princesses do sometimes, hee!), and while it's not super cheap it's not going to be a giant affair.  I did ask that people respond by August 1, and as of right now I have eight who said Yes (counting myself and the bride) and one who said No (our uncle's wonderful girlfriend who is a band leader and--surprise--has a gig at a wedding that day).

I think it will be fun.  Now, I'd better practice making that towel cake. . .

 

Still Licking Envelopes

Throwing a bridal shower is serious business!  Especially when you're not accustomed to being a hostess.  There are so many details but right now I just want to get the invitations in the mail.  My hands hurt from writing them all out.

Update on the party plans coming this week. . .

 

It's Really Happening!

The good news has arrived at last and the wedding will be taking place this Fall!

Already I have noticed a change in YS, more willing to discuss things instead of cutting short any wedding talk (mostly out of frustration that nothing could be planned until they got the go-ahead).  That said, she still wants what she wants and really doesn't want to hear suggestions or recommendations.  O.K., now that I know that, I just have to remind myself to listen and just respond positively.  She's not really asking what I think or for any suggestions--unless she explicitly asks.  

And even then, most likely I'd double-check that's what she wants, before answering.


There is, however, one slight piece of bad news, and it's for me.


I am being "Sixteen-Candled" out of my 40th birthday.*  


What do I mean by that?

If you're familiar with the movie, you know that the poor teenage main character, Samantha, finds that what should have been an exciting milestone birthday for her is being steamrolled by her sister's wedding which is happening at the same time.  Her entire family forgets about it, completely.

On one Sunday in October, I will be reaching a pretty significant milestone. . . and the Saturday of that same week, my sister and her fiance' will be getting married.

I think you can guess which date will have the bigger turnout.  Oh, not that it's a competition; in fact, I tend to have very low expectations for my birthday.  There have been some really bad things that have happened on that particular day of the year--to the point where I'm not sure it's coincidental.  I'm talking about stuff like finding out a friend from high school died, seeing an ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend (a mutual friend supposedly!) only months after our spectacularly brutal breakup, an unexpected fight between the people who took me out to dinner.  It just appears to be my lot in life.  With birthdays like those, who needs 'em?

So maybe it's best that there's a big event happening the same week.  It just might deflect some of the "bad juju" that tends to come around at that time of the year.  

Or at the very least it will distract me from it!

 


*Should that be "Forty-Candled"? Sounds like a fire department call waiting to happen. . .

Best Thing Said at Thanksgiving

"This is the first thing going on our wall."
--YSF, after Younger Sister and he opened the house blessing

I made sure they opened it before anyone else arrived so they had time to look at it and then stow it somewhere it wouldn't get stomped.


Last night, I got a text saying it's up on the wall and how much they love it. With photo.

It looks fantastic.  I couldn't be more thrilled.

On Feeling Left Behind

In mid-September, I'd been sitting at my part-time work's desk and had just logged into my personal e-mail when I saw an e-mail from Younger Sister with this subject line:

"New Keys"


That meant only one thing: She'd bought a house.

Let me explain something about my sister: she wants to check things off her list.  She needs to accomplish things, drive ahead, or she will lose her mind.  It's not that she lacks patience; it's more that she wants to dust her hands together and say, "Ah, that's done!"

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her.  To a point.  I don't know how good idea it is to put your name and your not-yet-husband's name on the title to a house.  Because there's still no wedding date.  Things seem to be closer to a conclusion on YSF's paperwork, but it's not settled.  And so no one is scandalized, please understand that they're not moving into the same bedroom--he is in the basement apartment and the housemate/good friend with whom she'd been renting a place for the past several years is occupying the bedroom next to YS.

Anyway, as I was saying, I am happy for her.  But I felt a twinge as I read her e-mail and looked at all the photos of their preparations to move in.

The twinge said two things to me.

1. She's starting to settle into her own place, her own world, with her future husband, with plans for their future, probably their future children's futures, too.
   
2. She beat you to getting engaged, she beat you to owning your own home, she'll beat you getting married and having a family, too.  You're going to have nothing in common anymore.  She'll have her friends who are married and/or have kids, not to mention Older Brother and SIL, to talk about married people things and parent things. Oh, and homeowning things, too.

Is there some envy there?  Sure, a little.  But even more so, it's just this sense that I am falling farther and farther behind everyone I know.  Even my little sister.  And everyone has always put us side-by-side for comparison for as long as we've been sisters.  And I've always been the different one while she's been the standard.  Homeowning is another benchmark to which I do not measure up.

I may be the older one, but she's never let me lead the way.  Maybe it's better she hasn't followed me, come to think of it.  But even if she doesn't look up to me, at least I don't get the sense she looks down on me, either.  Not anymore anyway; she knows and is proud that I've come a long way.

Other people, not so much.  I'm not looking forward to the questions and noises of pity, or having to explain.  

It's a guilty pleasure, but I do watch 19 Kids and Counting occasionally, and I just felt for poor Jana, the eldest sister, during the one episode in which all the sisters and other women in Jill's wedding party did a trial hairstyling at the salon.  Jana was (is) not married or even engaged.  Also the maid of honor, like me.  (At least she's like 15 years younger than I am.)

Hairstylist: Are you dating anybody right now?
Jana: Mmm-mm. (shakes her head with a little smile, almost rolling her eyes) 
Hairstylist: Just livin' the single life. 
Jana:  Yep. I am good.
[Cut to side interview]
Jana: I'm good.  Whenever that time comes, hopefully I'll be prepared.  But I- I'm good with just waiting right now.

Gracious in her responses, but you can tell she was tired of being looked at a certain way and asked questions like that.  

I have to practice doing that.

I know it won't be the same after YS is married.  At least not until--unless--I catch up.

I miss her already.

  

 

How to Lose and Find Your Engagement Ring in Ten Easy Steps

Younger Sister has devised these easy steps for you to follow:

1. When a slight medical condition messes with your hands, decide not to get the ring sized for fear it won't come off if your hand swells.  And then surround yourself with people who don't mention there are such things as ring guards.  Or just never get around to figuring all that out because you're all over-the-moon and stuff.  Additionally--and this will be important later--lose one of the ring's little diamond chips and don't replace it.

2. Pick a cool April evening to meet up with friends at a baseball game.  You know, the kind of chilly evening that makes your hands cold and makes your fingers shrink after you've been out there for hours.

2A. Prior to that, attend an event that is sure to help you keep your wits about you.

3. After the game ends, take the Metro home.

4. Walk in the door very late and night and look down at your ringless hand.  (My sister is not a weepie like me but there might have been screaming.  Her housemate probably is sworn to secrecy but I'll get it out of her during one of our pre-wedding get-togethers, I'm sure.)

4A. E-mail your mom because you figure she's gone to bed already so she won't be alarmed until morning.  (YS obviously was not thinking clearly because she didn't remember how late many of the time-stamps are on the e-mails we get from Mom.  Once Mom read the e-mail, she did not sleep well!)

5. The following day, get the word out.  EVERYWHERE.  The stadium, the metro, everyone you meet.  Especially if they can offer to pray for you.  Our mom hit St. Anthony up hard and she was not alone.  In addition to St. Anthony, I hit up the patron saint and namesake of the parish where I was cantoring the following Saturday.  I just knew someone had found the ring and prayed whoever found it would do the right thing.

6. After a few days, start looking into filing a claim with the ring's insurer.  Groan at the deductible.  Joke that your fiance' should propose to you all over again when you get the replacement ring.

7. Browse the Lost and Found section in your regional CraigsList site after your usual cruise through Missed Connections.  (What? They're weird and occasionally amusing.)

8.  Read a "Found" post about a ring found near the Metro station near your home.  Calm yourself down and contact the person with a description and photos including mention of the missing chip. WE HAVE A MATCH!

9.  Hear the amazing story of how this guy went jogging Sunday morning and saw something sparkly on the ground near the Metro station.  Passed it by, thinking it was a SODA CAN TAB--and then heeded the feeling that he should go back and pick it up.  Marvel at this miracle that has made the jogger a hero in his sentimental wife's eyes.

10.  Go with your fiance' to retrieve your ring and express your gratitude.  Offer a reward and when the beaming couple refuses it, stick it on their mantelpiece on the way out the door.  And then continue to wave them off as you're in your car trying to leave and the lady is running to the curb trying to hand you back the reward (not the wisest thing to do in that particular neighborhood).  And then REJOICE because you and your ring have been Reunited.  

 

About Those Wedding Expo Things. . .

. . . They really do vary widely.

I didn't get the chance to sit down and write the rundown on the first bridal/wedding show my mom and I attended in August.  Or, now that I think about it, was it that I just didn't care to because there hadn't been much that appealed to us?

I mean, everyone we talked to was nice, and I really liked the liquor vendor (not just because he gave me a glass a wine! He was friendly and knowledgeable!) and the photographer whose cute daughter sold lemonade for Alex's Lemonade Stand.  But the actual venue, a mansion with beautiful grounds but a chopped-up interior and creaky floors, left us cold.

The place where we were last weekend, however, felt completely different.  It even managed to win me over in spite of how rotten I felt with a lousy head cold which rendered me not in a particularly good mood to tolerate crowds.

To set the scene, we had to descend to the "Ballroom" which had not only a main floor but also an upper level and a built-in stage.  The stage had a DJ/emcee and from time to time had ladies modeling wedding dresses walking across it as well.

Before we went down to the ballroom, I was handed a little woven bag and a card where I was supposed to have the various vendors sign as I visited them.  After I visited everyone, I had to turn in the completed card for a raffle drawing.

I also was handed a big pink "Bride-to-Be" badge which I pinned on my sweater. Hey, if I had to impersonate Younger Sister, I had to do it all, right?

(Of course, much later in the day, after receiving some odd looks at the drugstore, I realized I hadn't taken it off!)

Down in the ballroom, there was an outer circle of tables as well as an inside circle.  Interspersed among the tables were food stations--the hot food ones staffed by very friendly employees, who served me tasty veggies; my mom, steak.  We also liked the crostini at what I later determined were cheese tables, although the crostini had just tasty olive tapenade.

So onward we went, looking at photo books and linens, talking to DJs and tuxedo reps (hey, we found a possible provider of tails and a top hat, if YSF isn't kidding), and smelling lots of sugar from the cake and candy samples.  I stuffed samples and logo'd trinkets in my bag, at some point acquiring a second bag from a limo/bus service.  We talked to the event coordinators and while I couldn't make an appointment with them, I explained (as YS) that my sister lived out of state and her opinion was so important to me that I would be making an appointment as soon as she had plans to come visit.

I made mental notes of who seemed nice and clued in; Mom already had in mind her favorite cake despite a yet-to-be-tasted sample placed in my one bag.  There also was the "candy lady" who had me at "Chocolate Fountain."

It was so easy to get caught up in looking at things and talking to people that we were surprised when we got to the end of the line that many people had left.  It was, after all, about one o'clock.  Football games were starting.

But then the event coordinators started drawing names for the prizes.  It was interesting to see brides win gift bags and free services--and then they drew the final, very large prize.  Over $200 in gift certificates.

They called my (I mean, my sister's) name!

If they hadn't required that you be 21 (and therefore show I.D.) I would have just smiled and said thank you.  But I felt I had to be honest and explain to the general manager, a genial Latino man, that I was there as a proxy for YS.  He said it was no problem and in fact if I wanted, he could split the certificate in two for us and change it to restaurant credits (there are a few in this facility) so I could bring YS to try out some things.  He handed me his card and told me to give him a call after we decided.  So nice.

A few days ago, I sorted through the pamphlets and trinkets and laid them out.

The pamphlets, I filed; the trinkets (candy included) I shipped to YS.

And I kept the larger of the two bags.  I probably will be using it to shlep stuff for the bride on the big day!

Obviously, it's going to be up to the bride and groom (and the date once set) where the reception will take place, but I do hope they will consider this place.  I really enjoyed the friendly staff, the tasty food, and the setting.

But in the meantime, Mom and I are keeping our eyes peeled for more of these bridal events! Whee!

(Edited 10/06/2013 to fix the typo/missing verb in the last paragraph.)
  

Not in the Running for Photography Options

This "invention."

However, YS did say she was open to Veil-cam (and, I dunno, Bowler-cam?). . .

 

A Question and a Promise

Younger Sister finally "popped the question"--although really it isn't fair to say "finally."

It's not her fault.  She had no idea there would be some required paperwork on the part of her fiance'.  It's not exactly his fault, either--he never thought he'd end up marrying, well, someone like her.  It's not my place to discuss all that business, but to sum it up: They can't set a date yet.

Which must be torture when the first question asked EVERY TIME the engagement ring is spotted is, "When's the big day?"  I've already seen YS get absolutely hounded by someone (well-meaning) on facebook.  

Plus, when you can't set a date, you can't really plan much of anything.  That's even more torture for a practical planner like YS (typical Taurus--plus they want to get to the party part pronto).

So Friday night, as I was texting YS to tell her about the interesting attire of some of the guests at the wedding I cantored that afternoon (blue flaming skulls shirt! 6-inch stiletto heels! Not on the same person!), she wrote back asking me to be her Maid of Honor--"whenever" she gets married.

Little did she know that after dinner, I cracked open my fortune cookie containing the following prediction: "You or a close friend will be married soon."

I don't think you can get a better promise from the Universe than that!

Naturally I texted that to her verbatim right away.  And I mailed the little slip of paper to her today so she knows it's legit.  

So part of my MOH job is already in play: reassurance. 

   

More of What I Do

It occurred to me that in addition to getting information about planning a wedding, the other kind of research I can do for YS will be of a local sort--as in playing "scout."

I mean, she lives in another state (and has been there for 10+ years), which makes it difficult to scout some reception locations and know about many of the local businesses (not to mention their reputations) and so on.  But I could do that for her, right?

Yeah, twist my arm!

So far, I asked for a "wedding packet" from the banquet manager at the place where our staff "end of the school year" luncheon was held--hey, the people are nice, the food's really good and there's a great view from the balcony--and I have long-standing relationships with both a hair salon and a Mary Kay rep--and probably some other businesses I haven't thought of yet.

I could be really helpful.  You have no idea how much that excites me.  Probably an introvert's (INFJ's?) personality quirk.

And probably also caused by the fact that I like my sister a lot.

  

Because This Is What I Do for a Living

Mom had mentioned that YS had called with a number of questions--probably all things that start running through one's head at the outset of planning a wedding, the kind of questions (or amount thereof) that get a person a bit anxious.  When Older Brother got married a few year ago, there were a few awkward moments (not to mention a misworded invitation and a disgruntled phone call or two)--things I'm sure YS wants to avoid.  She's also the kind of person who wants to be fair to everybody, most likely the result of her experiences at all the weddings she's attended.

In my experience as a librarian, information often calms people down, so I ordered a couple of books to be shipped to her home.  One was a book on etiquette, and the other was a companion planner.  I know, everybody keeps stuff on their smartphones now and there are apps for all sorts of things (and technology is addressed in the etiquette book), but nothing helps you see the big picture better than laying it all out physically and in an orderly manner.

Then I got nervous, that I was imposing my own opinions on her and/or implying she didn't know what she was doing, so when I mailed her sparkly little engagement card (with $ towards manicure maintenance, such a must), I wrote that I was sending her some books and if they weren't right for her I'd be fine with her exchanging them for whatever she wanted.

Friday night, after I'd texted her about something else, she wrote back, "Hey! Thanks for the books! They arrived today."  

I hope they'll head off some of the planning headaches.  

Sounds as if she's enjoying herself right now and that's really good to hear.

  

Because I Am So New to This. . .

. . . or so deprived--I honestly can't tell which--it didn't occur to me that anyone I told at work today would demand to see a photo of the engagement ring on my cell phone.

I just got charged $0.25 for e-mailing the photo to my phone.  Gotta love modern times.

Oh, well, she's worth it. 

Sentences You Never Thought You'd Say, Ever

As my parents and I were finishing up dinner at their house, the phone rang.  I'd linked the Caller ID on their TV, so my dad read it and called out, "You can pick it up!"  I was the closest one to the kitchen phone as I'd been clearing some of the dinner dishes.  

It was Dad's first cousin, one of the closest of the few relatives we know on my dad's side.  She is YS's godmother, in fact.  She and her husband had been doing maintenance at their NJ shore house for the weekend, and they came home to a very special phone message from YS. 

We chatted for a bit, and then I passed the phone over to Mom for congratulations.  They talked for little while--they both have experience as Mothers of the Groom.  Mom admitted, "The only thing I'm dreading is having to look for a dress."  Then she laughed and said, "Of course, I just got rid of all my Spanx because I thought, 'Well, I don't need these for anything!'"

"I think a special occasion calls for new Spanx anyway, Mom," I assured her.

And then we all laughed pretty hard at that.

    

And So It Begins

She got a powder pink manicure the next morning.

Last night started off as the usual for me--got off work, went home and took a quick nap, went to the gym, and then came home to make dinner.  While I was cooking, it occurred to me that I needed to text my Younger Sister to advise her she might get a strange phone call Saturday morning.  This weekend is her birthday, and I had managed to win a "character call" from Monsters Inc. as the result of a promotion in a package of juice boxes I'd purchased for my sixth-graders.  (I know--so random.)  The character "Boo" has a strong resemblance to her as a child, and she also has a fondness for PIXAR films.

It seemed a little uncharacteristic of her to respond so enthusiastically (and effusively) to my message, but it was after 9 p.m. and I figured she might have started celebrating her birthday, so I didn't think much of it.

About ten minutes later, my home phone rang.*  I looked at the Caller ID and it was Younger Sister's cell number.  I thought to myself, "Jeez, she's dying of curiosity about the mystery phone call and can't wait until tomorrow morning? Isn't she doing anything more interesting with her evening?"

Me: (Laughing) Hello?

YS: (Sing-songy) I got something shiny for my birthday. . .

Me: (Nothing but a HIGH PITCHED SQUEAL which I'm sure bothered all the dogs in the building)

Yes, YS's Boyfriend had set her up for a proposal under the guise of a fancy birthday dinner. . . and even The Question was hidden in what looked like a birthday card!

Pretty slick.

After I screamed, I was able to get a couple of words out as she told me how it all went down.  I could tell she was happy as she talked with me.  She even said she cried--and then continued to cry off and on during dinner--which is really unusual for her.  If you know your Zodiac you'd say she's a typical Taurus in that she usually keeps her emotions close to the vest.  The man who can get happy tears out of her is a keeper, for sure.

Of course, I knew he was a keeper the first time he came for Thanksgiving, and very late that night after all the company had left, I walked into my parents' TV room and there he was, dangling a string patiently for my parents' very timid, not-very bright cat.  The mere fact that the cat had come over to a big, muscle-y English guy in the first place was astonishing.**
 

But what an exciting night it was, Friday evening, just to hear the happiness in her voice.  I wanted so badly to hop several states over to hug her and fuss over the ring--and take her for a manicure.  I got to do that for my now-Sister-in-Law after Older Brother proposed.

And that's honestly all the envy I have--that her friends down where she lives get to witness all the early thrills and conversations and plans firsthand.  I was among the first called; they waited to change their facebook statuses until this afternoon (probably a wise move so they had time together before the frenzy).  And I know all her married friends (and probably my SIL) will be able to offer all sorts of opinions and wisdom that I know nothing of.  

I might even be mentioned as an "older model" that's "still on the market" like Jennifer Aniston's Beth at her sister's wedding in the movie version of He's Just Not That Into You***.

Even so, regardless of where she lives or who else is close to her, I know I matter to her and she's always going to be my sister--something no one else can claim. Maybe all this stuff will bring us closer.  

And it remains to be seen how all the things in the future with their wedding and married life will play out, and I couldn't begin to speculate on all that--or be anxious about it, for that matter.   

I say that now.  This blog may bear that out. . . or catch me in my moments of weakness.  Or both.

In any event, it's going to be an interesting ride.  You're welcome to go along with me--keep reading. 
    

*Don't judge me--I make a lot of local calls!
**Real men have a soft spot for cats. It's true
***Again, please don't judge me.  I kind of like Jen.